Suicide HikaKao (Hikaru x Kaoru)
by WhenIW45Alol5t4r
Summary: All Hikaru thinks about is Haruhi, and all Kaoru thinks about is Hikaru, it's getting too much to bear for Kaoru. Planned to be a one shot but if readers want more chapters I'll happily write more
I watched Hikaru's peaceful face as he slept. He looked so beautiful and serene. But he didn't feel the same way about me as I felt about him. He loved our best friend, Haruhi.

It's sad and strange that we aren't the same as we used to be. We used to live in our own little private bubble, nobody coming in and nobody going out. Nobody understood us or interfered and that was the way we liked stayed that way until middle school when we had a few friends but they still didn't 'get' us.

The first person to pop that still-existent bubble in high school was Haruhi. She was, and still is, the only person who can tell us apart and treats us like separate, individual people, not halves of one person.

At first, I kind of liked it as I thought that there were only two possible outcomes:a she would never be more than a friend b we would eventually drive her away or she would get bored.

But I was wrong, very very wrong. Hikaru changed when he was around her. Trying to impress her and blushing when she entered the room or spoke to him directly. And as he became more arrogant and more hyper around her, I became more sullen and hateful to our newfound friend.

I hated her for this, I hated her for reducing my brother to this lovesick dog, and me into this hateful demon.

"Haruhi," Hikaru breathed her name in his sleep, "Haruhi."

'Why?' I screamed inside my head, 'Why her and not me? We've always been together, stuck up for each other, kept ourselves to ourselves and it was fine so why now does it have to ego change?!'

"Kaoru,"

I looked to see my beloved twin looking at me, while the tears streamed down my cheeks.

I cursed at myself for actually talking.

"Kaoru."

His voice was like a mirage, so beautiful and perfect, yet unreal, and not for me.

"We were perfect, Hikaru, just us and no one else. It was heaven when we sat beside each other holding hands, isolated from the world, and SHE had to RUIN that, she DESTROYED EVERYTHING, leaving the debris in her wake!"

Hikaru looked shell shocked, his angelic face crumpled with confusion. My dominant mirror at a loss for words.

"Why can't I be good enough for you? Why do you choose HER over ME after everything that has ever happened to us?" My screams echoed at him, each sentence louder than the last.

I sounded like an obsessed madman but I didn't care, for nearly a year this hurricane of torment tore me from the inside out and I couldn't take it anymore.

"Kaoru," he started off, "I thought you were fine."

Hurt and rage bubbled up my throat and tainted my hysteric words blood red.

"Fine? Fine?! I have been tortured for what feels like forever with this and you think I'm FINE?! Maybe if you prised your eyes away from the 'perfection' you think Haruhi is you would have NOTICED!"

I screamed on the last word making him flinch slightly. He looked away, making it impossible for me to read the emotions on his face.

'Fine,' I thought, 'if he can't even say anything, there's no point in me being here at all.'

I jumped off the bed, violent shoving on a coat and shoes and ran out of our pristine mansion and the immaculate garden. I ran to the nearest late night drug store I could find and bought a whole bottle of paracetamol with the money I found in the coat. I took a cab to Greenwood Fields, the only decent nature park near our mansion.

I slipped into a hollow willow tree that Hikaru played in before I knew of this immeasurable pain that hurt so much it made me want to collapse.

We brought storybooks and toys here and played for hours. No one would be able to find where we were and it was heaven.

I sobbed, the tears racking my body and making the pills in my hand rattle. I didn't want to feel or know anything other than darkness. I just wanted to sleep in this tree forever.

I shook out all of the pills and quickly swallowed them down, not even caring if I choked.

What seemed like seconds but could have been hours later, I felt my eyelids begin to grow heavy. Glad for the sweet release, I closed my eyes and dreamed.

I dreamt of a perfect world where noboy else existed but Hikaru and me.

I dreamt of his arms wrapped around me, his perfect lips whispering into my ear. But the strange thing was, I thought I could hear other voices - and sirens. I searched for the the welcoming darkness and upon finding it, embraced it.

 _Fin._


End file.
